Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Foggy Tree

Yesterday it was really foggy most of the day and I thought it would be a great opportunity to take photos of the many graveyards scattered throughout the area. This one was conveniently located behind the Aldi’s grocery store and next to Lowe’s. Most of the graves were from the 1800’s

Bridge Over the Mississippi

One of the many bridges over the Mississippi

Tell us about something you’ve done that you would advise a friend never to do.

 

Be silent.  I can remember growing up and every time I would try to argue my point with my mother I would get shut down by her hand being thrown into the air and the words “I don’t want to hear it”.  Over the years I learned not to say anything and not to defend myself.  I am 36 now and going through a lot of things where I really need to know how to speak up for myself and I had grown quite frustrated at my inability to do that until a recent event that took place in the Principals office at my son’s school.  It enraged me for days and I finally realized I can’t do this to myself anymore.  I have a voice and I deserve to be heard…I have something to say even if you don’t want to hear it.  It was easier to be silent, I didn’t feel I had the strength to fight, but it was killing me inside.Image

 

My advice to anyone is find your strength and overcome your fears, because the only one getting hurt is you if you don’t stand up for yourself.

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This is part of my Anonymous Faces project inspired by victims of domestic violence and those that struggle with addiction and homelessness.  I hope to use it to help those that help the needy.

Daily Prompt

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Letter to my 14 year old self…

Dear Tonya,

Poor, dear Tonya.  I often see you sitting on your bedroom floor watching the blood drip from your arm for the first time.  Some thought it was just a phase…just the age of angst.  22 years later you will still be watching the blood drip from your arm.  They told you things would get better…you didn’t believe them…and you were right…you often ask what the hell are you still doing here…but somehow you stay…there is something you are searching for that you still believe you will find…but it is a very tumultuous journey with many, many obstacles and wicked deceivers.  You hold on to the memory of when you were 8 and you thought you could change the world and you still believe you will someday.  You are lonely, but not alone.  When you are down today you look back and say I still wouldn’t change a thing.

Loss

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Ever meet those people that radiate kindness yet they are lost?  I met my boyfriends cousin last year and was immediately charmed by him, my heart went out to him like a big sister…he was the brother I never had and always wanted.  He died today and although I didn’t get to know him long I am deeply saddened that he is gone…overdose.  He was 32. 

Daily Prompt

Posted: October 30, 2012 in Uncategorized
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I’m not entirely sure what is going on in this picture…but to me I want to say that the woman in the background has just defeated her attacker…which I find…I don’t even know the word right now, But I am experiencing some bullying and intimidation by my son’s father and step-mother and would love to “defeat” them some day and I somehow find hope and strength and affirmation in this 11th picture I found after I randomly Googled the word ‘fear’.

 Once upon a time a boy was born in a land far, far away.  This land was hot and barren and full of hostile inhabitants.  The boys mother feared for the future of her son and knew that his only chance for survival was to leave the only home he had ever known and embark on a dangerous journey.  Their journey lasted 7 long, tumultuous years.  They travelled over mountains to the ocean side and across the hottest of deserts in search of a place they could call home.  Along the way they met many villains who sought to deceive them. 

 They first found themselves heading West through valleys and atop mountain ridges until they came to the edge of the land where the ocean meets the shore.  It was a lonely land of unfamiliar faces and suspicious grimaces.  The sun was their only companion that brought them renewed hope and a peace they needed to continue their expedition.  As hard as the mother tried she had no luck planting roots in the new land.  After several attempts the mother knew she had been defeated and retreated towards the East once again.  

 She desperately searched her soul and prayed to the Gods above for a direction that would give them salvation.  The years began to pass and her fear intensified.  Many battles were fought that in end rewarded her with strength and knowledge, but still the answer she needed eluded her.  She had few allies on which to consult and rely which only added to her frustration which in turn clouded her vision.  ‘She must stay strong’ she  thought ‘now is no time to fall apart, just keep moving forward and don’t look back.’  From time to time small signs would appear to let her know she was still on the right path.

 One dangerous evening while crossing the desert yet again she encountered one of the most evil of deceptors, those that hide inside the skin of a friend only to reveal they are a foe after they have already poisoned you.  She was weakened by this attack and knew she would have to fight even harder to get away.  The future was looking dim and all hope seemed to be slowly slipping away.  With what little remained of her, she thought of her son and knew she could never fail him, she would never make that mistake again.  She grabbed what she could carry and set out to what she hoped would be their final destination.  

 Upon arrival, her emotions were mixed and expectations few to say the least.  The future of her son was still unknown and the answer that she sought was still just out of reach, but sure she would have it soon, she was so close it made her heart beat stronger and stronger, little did she know her journey had just begun.

JuJu

Posted: September 9, 2012 in Uncategorized
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JuJu

One of my favorites I took of my exes daughter this Summer.

Missouri side of Old Chain of Rocks Bridge

This bridge is part of Old Route 66.